Welcome to the Jo Ann island. Feel free to die.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

okay,

so..

maybe there wasn't a need to come up with escape plans.

maybe the party was actually,

to a certain extent,

quite fun.

maybe the food was good,

maybe the live music was a little too annoying and high pitchy,

maybe the food was awesome,

maybe none of the grown ups gave a shit about me anyway,

maybe... i could have eaten more.

damn.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T USE DEM PLANS NEXT TIME!

10:15 AM

Escape Plan 1#

I pretend to have a flaming appendix,

grab my tummy and moan in agony

and say " no.. no.. the party.."

but parents will have to forcibly bring me to the hospital,

thus skipping the party.

Flaw: i dont know where the hell my appendix is.

Escape Plan 2#

i pretend to have a heart attack from

eating too much kinder bueno chocolate sticks,

grabbing my right arm and screaming,

and parents will find me on the floor, dead.

Flaw: i dont like dying.

Escape Plan 3#

i whine all day

and whine in the car

and whine at the party

and the host will have to kick me out

for spreading misery among his guests.

Flaw: Will probrably be slapped silly by parents before any kicking happens.

Escape Plan 4#

Run away from home,
and start living life as a hobo,
loitering along alleyways,
sleeping on sidewalks,
and eating as many stale sandwiches as i please.

Flaw: I will get fat.

Escape Plan 5#

give up.

1:38 AM

Thursday, May 29, 2008

i say,

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE TICKETS.

9:36 PM

I DECLARE AN EVERLASTING VENGEANCE

ON THE COCKROACHES THAT LIVE UNDER MY BATHROOM CABINET,

AND I SWEAR TO ELIMINATE ALL POTENTIAL BREEDING,

BY MADLY SPRAYING WATER OR DEODORANT,

ALL THE WHILE SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY,

AND PRAYING IT DIED DUE TO

JOANNSCREAMO-CITIS.

11:00 AM

i must not panic under stress.
i must not panic under stress.

i will not panic under stress.

i do panic under stess.

4:58 AM

jia jkahinjta jeavjia jtaosjla jyajma jsaatchejma joajsa jyaanjma jsaimejta

jtahajta jia jtaonjda jyaealljra jeaarejca jeanymorjaa.

jtaujba jtajia jlatiljsa jsaurtjha

jdanjaa jia jtaonjda jwanojka jyahjwa.

IT'S SO CONFUSING.

3:42 AM

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

my toes are about to fall off.

after much bashing against my shitass shoes.

and yes,

you can donate to the

help-joann-buy-a-nice-tennis-shoe-fund,

thank you.

10:23 AM

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

if only cute californians played tennis in singapore,

then i would have a greater passion to play at kallang.

WHERE ARE YOU MY SWEET(s)?

9:43 AM

tennis,

tennis.

tennis in the morning,

tennis in the noon time,

tennis,

tennis.

tennis till the sun goes down.

then there's tuition.

9:42 AM

we lost,

but

WE ARE WINNERS

in our hearts.

9:41 AM

Sunday, May 25, 2008

HEY YOU GUYS

MY COUSIN 'S GOT HIMSELF A

girlfriend.

11:34 AM

I'VE JUST FINISHED TWILIGHT.

a long time,

yes i know.

but now that's i'm done...

i can't help but fall into a deep pit of depression,

my heart wandering

searching for someone

who will be no one,

nowhere as close to edward.

11:32 AM

wow,

i can't believe i haven't said this.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE

IT'S TIME TO PARTY

LETS GIVE A WELCOME, HEARTY!

11:19 AM

IF

being a fat face is what i was born with,

then a fat face am i.

.

but the camera adds 10 pounds,

i swear!!!

11:17 AM

i am such a loose woman!

i love ian.

i love edward.

i love eddie.

i love hillsong.

i love kevin.

i love robert.

i love borat.

-

they all love me too, i think.

11:13 AM

Saturday, May 24, 2008

ahh,

sweet 100 plus.

you quench my every thirst,

and your'e

" The Healthier Choice For My Active Lifestyle"

you also do a bang-up job,

after an exhausing night

of..

PARTYING LIKE A ROCKSTAR

at hillsong!

My heart beats in tune with the electrifying music.

The lights are blinding.

i've lost control.

it's overwhelming.

and before i know it,

my hands are in the air,

and i'm waving like i just dont care.

-

+ jumping.

To juan siu and ellie:

Forget what i said,

hillsong is,

and will be forever,

the first concert i have ever been to.

And we all say?

AAAAMEN!

8:37 AM

Friday, May 23, 2008

I CAN'T HELP IT!

I'M HEAD-OVER-HEELS IN LOVE

WITH THE MOST INHUMANELY BEAUTIFUL CREATURE IN THE WORLD.

EDWARD,

MY BLOOD-THIRSTY FRIEND,

promise me you won't bite?

9:31 AM

To all the ~~girls~~ boys i've loved before

( lots)

Who travelled in and out my door

( never)

I'm glad they came along

( i dreamt more like)

i dedicate this song to all the boys i've loved before.

( ian, kev, nIdentify, nicholas, edward)

9:21 AM

Thursday, May 22, 2008

i can't believe i didn't win the smosh beefngo contest!!!

i mean, come on.

Beefngo is really neat
it's the best thing you will ever eat

it's made of cow

( damn good chow!)

and horse dicks

that bring chicks.

HOORAH!

2:27 AM

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'M STARTING TO PLAY RUNESCAPE AGAIN!

but i know this will never last.

it's just a one-night-stand.

heeheheeheeheeeex.

7:51 AM

Monday, May 19, 2008

my pokemon tattoos are like 1000BC

so they wont stick on my arm.

life is bad.

8:41 AM

Sunday, May 18, 2008

i've got pokemon tattoos.

life is good.

9:06 AM

Thursday, May 15, 2008

CHRIS CROCKER,

MY IDOL.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc

6:10 AM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

TODAY
Was one of the crappiest day of my life.

Took a cab to the mrt.
Took a bus to joyce’s house, feeling all independent.

Took the wrong bus.
Got lost near expo and some shiny building.
Took a cab there instead.

The taxi driver spoke Chinese.
I told him “ clear water”.
He said okay.
(hao, xin sheng SHUI)

Was brought to Newater plant.
Not. Funny.

Told him Clearwater was at Tampines.
But it wasn’t.

So..
Maybe I should buck up on geography and Chinese.

Not.

8:12 AM

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

aw dang,

goodbye apple pie.

ciq ceqatchq cuqocyq.

ANYBODY GET THAT?

8:21 AM

i know a pucktard that's super ugly

super ugly

i know a pucktard that's pucking puck puck puck puck fuck puck annyoing

and this is him.

8:16 AM

Monday, May 12, 2008

I AM ONLINE.

at 11.44,

i wong jo ann

have escaped curfew

and is now loitering amongst the many internet websites

thanks to my dear dear sister,

a fellow criminalist,

involved in the plucking of the internet remover.

XIE XIE NI DA JIE.

8:43 AM

PUCK!

i wish i had a cooler life.

today was nothing special,

i'm just going on tv that's all.

so boring.

6:34 AM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

okay maybe not the second one.

she looks like she came from loser island and was banished to

mega loser island.

7:04 AM

And as she preps herself for tomorrow

she can't help but smile and think,

" wong jo ann,

this is your first chance to stardom!"

heeheeheeheeheeeee.

( i might actually shower in the morning tomorrow. )

6:44 AM

Saturday, May 10, 2008

MY INTERNET IS GOING OFF IN 4 MINUTES.

THIS IS MY LAST POST FOR TODAY,

SO...

I THINK EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD WHO MAKES

THE MRT MORE CROWDED THAN IT ALREADY IS

SHOULD DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE CUTE

AMERICAN BOY.

8:10 AM

IT'S MOTHER'S DAY TOMORROW,

SO WHY AREN'T THE BLOODY COLD STORAGES OPEN

TO SELL ME EASY-MAKE PANCAKES???

8:07 AM

SHIT BALLS!

7:56 AM

i went running!

but i had cheezy pasta and popcorn and coke and yoshinoya shit and fried rice and a taquito and juice

so.....

i guess i didn't lose any of my blubber.

>: (

7:46 AM

Friday, May 09, 2008

thai pan is going to be the death of me.

i can't stop eating butter squid

and kang kong

and cereal prawns which must have been mutated.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FATNESS!

12:54 AM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

EH EH

I WANT TO BE A HARAJUKU GIRL!!!

can't you just imagine me in pink frocks

or maybe and eskimo costume

swinging my curly locks,

going

" I'MMA VIRGIN!"

oh damn.

can't compete with that last one.

6:43 AM

MEESTER FIRRRRR...

SOMEBODY LIKES YOU

AND YOUR TIGHT PANTS!

5:07 AM

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

i have never had so much fun in my life.

oh fun,

glorious fun!

http://www.addictinggames.com/supercrazyguitarman3.html

7:27 AM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

MY SPAGHETTI TASTES LIKE MEE SIAM.

who else's spaghetti tastes like mee siam?

no ones.

exactly.

it's not fair.

5:48 AM

Monday, May 05, 2008

HEY AGNEZ,
WE ON FOR THE SUNRISE???????

7:07 AM

And I think margaret and I will be kicked out of fort canning,

( which incidentally, is NOT in sentosa)
As we attempt to:
-squirt the bands with cool water guns and
-Try to pull their pants down and
-Throw empty red bull cans at security.

7:07 AM